The Minor Crime at Christmastime

Christmas songs. Love them or hate them, it seems like every artist has taken a crack at one, or one too many. And so, year after year, this interesting pile of musical tripe grows and grows.

But it's tough, I think, to write a song on such an artistically rigid theme and still land in the ballpark without being downright annoying. When I hear of bands and artists covering Christmas songs, I can't help but think its a money grab. Then again, why not? Though we can't all be Mariah Carey (who, as of 2017, has reported to have made $60 million on her 1994 song about wanting stuff for Christmas), give the people what they want. Right? 

I'm not sure what ignited my desire for dabbling in this space, though I can confirm it was not about the money. About 10 years ago I challenged myself to write an original song for The Season' and the result was 'The Minor Crime At Christmastime'. After cranking out some humorous-only-to-me lyrics, I recorded a few home demos (cheekily calling one 'Breaking TVs at the dump version'), and one demo even landed on a split 7" on the 51F label.

I went on a run in the ensuing years, writing a few original Christmas songs and even shooting a early-iphone video for a song loosely about mooching an ex's meal plan at University. If you're wondering what audience I was shooting for, well, there wasn't one. Well, maybe outside of my family and friends who incidentally make ridiculous appearances in the video and still (I think) look it up on YouTube every year. It was fun. 

So this year, with my increased interest in the evil beasts that are streaming sites, I took another crack at my Christmas track that got me started messing around in this nutty genre...when I have a whack of better original songs I should probably be spending time on instead. 

I wonder if that's what Mariah thought at the time too? Probably not.


I heard you slurring Christmas songs  
To plastic reindeer on the lawn  
But you make angels sing  
With Winter hopes of Spring  
And spirits lifting  

Snowflakes sting inside my eyes  
And I can't sing to save my life  
When its Good King Wenceslas  
And the crime is senseless  
Then I'm not dreaming  

They illuminate my street  
And throw an empty stare at me  
So you say  
Let it slide, let it snow, let it die  
This Christmastime

And while we're at it, here's "I Saw Santa Sliding On A Cafeteria Tray", 1 minute and 33 seconds of pure Christmas magic:


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